I am so angry at myself because I miss you and I don’t want to let go of you. I think the end of this is like that time I hit my hand and it didn’t hurt at all the first day but after I couldn’t move it without screaming from the pain. Maybe I was numb to it when you fucked me over and I thought I was okay without you but now I can’t even hear your voice without wanting to beg you to take it back. I’m scared that this and you will always be a part of me like how my hand still makes a clicking noise when I flex my fingers.
You broke my heart before I even realised I had given it to you.
The problem with happiness is that it ends and I’m so scared that when it does, I will be ruined.
I’m trying so hard to hold on to this.
I’m beginning to realise that you might be less than the sum of your parts and that when I am with you, I am too.